Project Runway 4 recap: Episode 9

Jayne says: I'm looking around the room and finding that I'm all by my lonesome this week. I don't know where the boys are, but it's safe to say that they're probably out having more fun than me. Those two live such illustrious, glamorous lives. Me, I did my freaking taxes earlier, for crying out loud! *deep sigh* Anyways, I've got butt-loads to say this week, so here we go...

This week's challenge found the designers heading out to another random loading dock. The Senior VP of design from Levi's is introduced. (Sidebar: Design? For a denim company that specializes in jeans that fit no one correctly? Why? Maybe it's a throw-away title. Hmmm.) Door #2 is raised to show numerous pairs of ill-fitting 501s and boring white fabric that I don't think anyone used in their final designs strung up like old, forgotten laundry. The best part? The 100 yard dash to grab the denim. You could just see Chris thinking to himself, "Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!"

.......................

Chris and Uter. Separated at birth? You make the call...

Anyways, the designers were challenged to use as many pairs of Levi's jeans and denim jackets as their little hearts desired to create an all-denim "iconic" look. I had to ask myself "How iconic can denim be? It's...it's...denim! How ever will they make an interesting garment out of crappy jeans?!" Well, boy, was I wrong! Let's start the show:

The Horrid:

....

Victorya's "trench" was auf-worthy, but it wasn't nearly as criminal as the length and the wash (that blue makes me shiver with icky-ness) of Jillian's effort. And those shoes, while incredibly fabulous, do nothing to improve her look. Either designer could have taken a hike and it would have been OK with me.

The Fabulous:

In my humble opinion, this was the only real contender for the win. I was a little worried when I saw Sweet P. making a long denim wedding dress. "Hippy dippy" described the long look perfectly, but the short dress ended up being very attractive. And no patchouli oil anywhere in sight! YAY!!

The Meh:

....

The judges drooled over Ricky's outfit and gave him the win. I'm totally underwhelmed. All I have to say is Forever 21. On sale.

Christian showed his incredibly innovative design aesthetic by taking a pair of jeans and making, HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS, a pair of jeans. Snore! (and as much as I liked Christian last week, he's reverted back to squawk-mode and again, I want to shove pencils in my ears to make it stop!)

Michael and Nina had clothes-gasms over Rami's use of zippers as seams. So clever, they said! So interesting! Hmmmm, wonder where they'd seen that before?

Oh. Yeah. Right. Nevermind.

Who should have won:

Sweet P. Hands down. Her design, while not necessarily "iconic", was original and totally wearable.

Who should have gotten the boot:

The judges would have been totally justified in sending either Jillian or Victorya home, although really, what's going through the judges' heads is a total mystery. Anyone could have been auf'ed. Who knows.

Project Runway 4 Recap: Episode 8

"I Don't Believe In Regret."

Jeff says: Marc is in Tokyo on business this week. ( I feel like I am the replacement anchor on the evening news now)

You go through life and every once in a while something catches you, for just a second, and for just that second you go - RIIIIIIIIIGHT?

Kit, our beloved prom queen from The OC  was always a curio in my cabinet. Pretty to look at but not serving much purpose otherwise. I loved her personal look but she never quite delivered on PR. This week she payed the ultimate price but on her way out, she dropped the bomb that made me think she was more that she appeared to be.

She dropped the line that I live my life by, "I don't believe in regret". Life is a journey of unexpected events - go with it and do your best. Never beat yourself up with "I coulda, I shoulda, I woulda.."

Cheers Girl.

This week the challenge was to design an Avant-Garde look based on the designer's selected model's special-for-the show-hair style.

Twist 1: Designers were paired up in teams of 2, one model was a throw-away.
Twist 2: Enter throw-away model to do a second Ready-To-Wear look inspired by the Avant-Garde look.

Jayne says: Ugh. Another team challenge. Has a single season of PR *ever* seen this many of them? I think not. At least this time the teams had to create two looks, thereby giving each member of the team a design voice. Oh wait...just kidding. I forgot about Rami's freak-out control fest. Didn't he get the memo that micro-managing is SO 1997?

On with the show....

The Horrid:

Jeff says: This was from Team Kit 'n Ricky, Kit was the team lead here..
I look at this now and wonder, didn't we do Prom Dresses last week? This looks like something that might have been popular when Muskrat Love was a hit. Maybe her date was wearing some flared Wranglers and a vest over a ruffled shirt? Maybe she didn't have enough money for a prom dress and had to make it herself from bed sheets and satin trim from the old blankets.

I wonder if maybe it was one of those things that just became like a vortex of UGH: it was good in concept and just got worse as construction proceeded. I also recall Kit kind of haphazardly accepting a fabric suggestion at Mood. I think she would have done better with more expensive looking fabrics.

Jayne says: What the hell is Muskrat Love again? Anyways, this dress was Laura Ingalls Wilder meets Laura Ashley meets Betty Crocker meets a vacation to a Texas Dude Ranch. Its a big ol' hoop skirt of fug. For some reason though, this dress makes me hungry for buttermilk biscuits. And don't even get me started on their ready-to-wear look! Oooof!

Jeff says: BAH! Rami is now in a shame spiral fueled by yawns. This looks like last weeks dress, but in beige, oh and with pants, and then some ribbon glued on.

Soooo not imaginative and really left me wondering the same thing as the judges... "Hey Rami, what else can you do?" Seems like he is this seasons Uli: same thing over and over, but this time with less flavor.

Jayne says: Introducing the New and Improved Rami: Now with more one-note drapey dresses, bitchiness and Xanax! (as in, "I need a healthy dose of Xanax after watching his behavior in this episode". Ew.)

The Fabulous:

Jeff says: This is the winning design of the evening from Chris and Christian. Poo. Of course Christian predicted that this was the best design on the show - again. This time it was, under Christian's guidance, they stuffed 45 yards of fabric into one garment - fabulous. This was really a great team, Christian's commercial eye and Chris's drag queen scene stealing costume construction experience. It was a wonderful dress and really could have come from a high end garment house - although it was a somewhat dated look. In fact all the Avant-Garde looks seemed dated to me. In any case, it was great and Christina called out Nina Garcia, who couldn't keep the grin off her face as the model walked this down that catwalk. That says it all right there.

Jayne says: Two challenges ago, Tim Gunn made a comment about the skirt of Sweet P's dress looking like a maxi-pad. In response to that, I submit to you the INSANE collar on this dress. Talk about wings! (Ok, sorry. I couldn't resist). Actually, I loved this design and knew it would be the winner as soon as it came down the runway. Minus the maxi-pad collar, the 45 yards of fabric look *amazing*. So intricate! So interesting! So well done! And forgive me, but damn it, I'm starting to like Christian! I found him to be adorable under Chris's tutelage and not nearly as grating and squawky. I KNOW!! I can't understand it either. In related, albeit odd news, this one makes me want biscuits, too!


Jeff says: BRAVO Sweet P! This was the ready to wear component of Rami's Avant-Garde design. I love the color and the layering. I equally love that she clearly has been inspired by Rami's design style and is channeling his Greco-Roman swag-fixation. She however does it in a fresh way with length and the really great ribbon around the waist. Ima thinkin' shes gonna bump his ass off the final 3 (or 4) and make it into the finale.

Jayne says: Just. Gorgeous. So young! So chic! So something if I had better, longer legs I would wear! Maybe if I ate less biscuits. Just maybe...

Who should have won:

Jeff says: I am agreeing with judges. Chris and Christina pulled together great concept outfits executed them very was the most original of designs this and was perfectly executed.

Jayne says: Although I liked Victorya and Jillian's Avant- Garde outfit, their ready-to-wear look killed it for me. Hated it! Therefore, the judges were correct in awarding this victory to Christian and Chris. Their dress was honestly the first look I've actually been excited about all season. Word up, Team Fierce! Oh, and I totally take back my comments I made last week about Christian being a minimally talented Santino wanna-be who is just around for TV ratings. This dress took my breath away.

Who should have gotten the boot:

Jeff says: Kit sadly. Again, I am agreeing with the judges, she missed the assignment by a mile and added the secondary insult of sending in a ready-to-wear dress that looked like Little House On The Prairie meets Wet Seal.

Jayne says: Man, there were so many people to choose from last night. I'm gonna go on record right now by saying that I think its bullshit that its always the team leaders that get the auf. When is Crybaby Ricky Tearbox FINALLY gonna get the axe?! How many times has he been in the bottom now? Damn near every challenge but the last one? Jesus. Just what is it that the judges see in him anyways?! That said, I would have been OK with Rami taking a hike last night, too. Kit, I'm sad to see her go. No regrets, though! I admire people who go out with their head held high! We'll miss you, chickie!

Project Runway 4 Recap: Episode 7

Jayne says: I loved last week's challenge (mostly because I love candy so very , very much). And even though us at Horridfabulous didn't get around to covering it, it was still arguably the best episode of the season thus far. Until last night. Catholic high school young ladies (and one drama queen) from Jersey? Prom dresses for the Catholic high school young ladies (and one drama queen) from Jersey? A cat fight between Christian and the female equivalent of Christian? Are you kidding me!?! FABULOUS! Oh man, this episode had it all: beautiful dresses, so-so dresses, miserable sacks trying to pass as dresses and one delicious meltdown.

Marc says: Last night's show was one of the best since I became hooked on PR, and I must say I have become somewhat emotionally attached to some of the designers. I would hate to see sweet Chris leave now knowing that he spent his prom night at home alone, sucking from a bottle of Scope (memories of Kitty Dukakis's own youth). Little Christian showed a vulnerable side as he lost his cool facing a teen who seemed to be the love child of Diana Ross and Predator. What would this show be with without our little Christian? Sweet P my dear, I so regret now having compared you to Miss Piggy, actually I don't, but we got to see you in a different light this week, you seemed to really connect with these New Jersey teens, showing the warmth and understanding of an over-tattooed social worker. And that dress, that flowy white thing that we may have seen at the Golden Globes this year if those greedy writers hadn't ruined the award season for the gays! You saved yourself from damnation my lovely Sweet P.

Jeff says: Agreed, this was the best episode of the season so far. Sadly that I found most of the designs kind of lacking and thought that the final 2 was almost an arbitrary selection. I mean that beige swag of blah from Ricky was auf-worthy. Oh and WHAT was Ricky crying about in this episode? I mean what's so emotional about your mom making prom dresses for your sister? (that's what he was talking about RIIIIIIGHT?) I appreciate the amount of stress that is present in this kind of environment but canned drama, AGAIN, is hardly appropriate. Rewind back to Austin Scarlet having a melt down during an elevator ride that stops on every floor while he is up against a tight deadline. Now thats good television!

The Horrid:

Jayne says: I don't care if Victorya's dress was the winner. My god, this is all kinds of awful. It hurts my soul. First off, she's Bedazzled. Secondly, its a freaking bubble skirt! Didn't Angela receive a new asshole for her affinity for bubble skirts just last season? Now they're in? Damn, I don't get fashion at all. I give up.

Marc says: I loved this dress, it was the only one I felt had any real originality, the color was great, the cut was great, the touch of bling was fabulous, and it even made this "Jan Brady" like prom queen look hot. I must add that based on personality and team spirit, Ms. Victorya needs to GO, I mean floor opening up and being fed to the sharks GO. She's mean. Vicky my dear, apply for "The Apprentice" next year where your kind belongs. Hiss, snap, done.

Jeff says: Sorry Miss Jayne, but I am gonna gang up with Marc here - this was a good dress. When high school B-list dream date Jessica first hit the runway, the dress got a little back lighting from the screen that hides the entry to the runway. The layering of the dress was superb. I did find the "jewels" to be a little 1967 Star Trek alien sex kitten, but its a flippin' PROM DRESS. The teen girl counter clerk that works in my neighborhood drug store wears ear rings with bigger plastic jewels and she's totally cute. (I just hope she gives that look up before she heads off to community college..)

Jayne says: This didn't need to be as bad as it was. The color's actually pretty on her. All Christian had to do was remove the crinoline-esque wickety-wack to create a somewhat flattering silhouette. And you know a dress is just not fitting correctly when the back is unintentionally shorter than the front. I do have to say though, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Christian lose his haughty swagger when confronted with himself in female form. Deee-lish, I tell you!

Marc says: What Maddie needed more than a fitting was a firm slap in the face. Missy should have shown a little more respect and trusted Christian, he' s good, of course we'd all like to swing him at the end of our arms like a rag doll when he gets on our nerves, but he has vision, and if Maddy hadn't intervened she wouldn't have ended up looking like a Folies Bergere dancer on break.

Jeff says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What a mess. The dress was bad, Christian was so unprofessional, this girl lives in a dream world. TRIFECTA.

The Fabulous:

Jayne says:
Oh my stars, this is beyond STUNNING!! Sweet P, I knew you had it in you! You were robbed of a very deserved win in favor of a Bedazzled bubble mess. I only wish I looked this breathtaking at my prom. Well done, lady!

Marc says: This is what Demi Moore would wear at the Oscars if she were still invited, just a beautiful creation. Flowy and angelic, we were all shocked by Sweet P's creation. Bravo my inked one.

Jeff says: I totally wore this same dress on New Years Eve! OMG! Everyone loved it and I got soooo many phone numbers...

Jayne says: My darling round boy of love, Chris March, I WANT THIS DRESS. E-mail me. We'll talk. (Love the color. Love the neckline and the draping and THE COLOR!! Gorg-e-ous!)

Marc says: I love this dress as well, good draping and color, and sexy as well, in an Angie Dickinson kind of way.

Jeff says: This was my favorite dress. The color is so great and the design was PERFECT. I have chills as I look at the dress. Fuckin HAWT - Chris you should be very proud.

Who should have won:

Jayne says: Um, yeah. In case you weren't paying attention earlier, Sweet P was ROBBED!!!

Marc says: Victorya justly won with that snazzy blue number. However she still needs to be sent to charm school.

Jeff says: Sweet P. That dress was so perfect, although it wasn't as hot as Chris' , but it was perfectly made. Loved it. Marc is right, Victorya is a hag. Did you hear the first thing she asked her client? "So why do you think you could work with me?"

Um, self centered much?

Who should have gotten the boot:

Jayne says: As much as I hated Victorya's and Christian's dresses, Kevin's looked like another Dress Barn clearance rack special, and although common, not worthy of an auf'ing. I'm sad to see him go. I liked Kevin. He was a decent dude. But reality TV thrives on ratings, and people don't tune in week after week to see a straight, non-smarmy guy like Kevin who creates no drama. Christian is this year's Santino. Marginally talented, but clearly only around for the ratings. Happy birthday, princess. This one was a gift. Treating your clients like that is not good for business. You think a teenage girl was bad? Try anyone from Hollywood. High maintenance actresses will own your squawky ass. Suck it up, Miss Thang. Otherwise, you can kiss your career in fashion buh-bye!

Marc says: I liked Kevin as well, sweet guy, beautiful eyes, but sadly he transformed a sweet and innocent seventeen year old into a prostitute. A crime only forgiven if you're a Hollywood director.

Marc adds: Don't you all think it's time they brought back "Battle of the Network stars"????? I mean can you imagine Bravo versus Food Network? Little Christian wrestling with Rachel Ray? loser forced to eat the shitty meals she cooks in less than 30 minutes. Fun, snap, done.

Jeff says: Christian. He bugs, his hair bugs, his clothes are for the most part crappy, he's a hag, and his dress looked like a brown taffeta nightmare. I want him to go away.

And I want Tyson Beckford to hire me as his personal assistant.
And I want a million dollars.
And a Porsche.
That is all.

Jayne says: I TOTALLY vote for a Raechel Ray/ Christian smackdown. Now, THAT'S good TV right there! Oh, and if you can please throw in a side of Tyson Beckford, it'd be greatly appreciated! =)

Project Runway 4 Recap: Episode 6

Marc says: This week we saw the designers head out on a "field trip" to Hershey's flagship store in Time Square where they had five minutes to grab as much merchandise as possible. The challenge was to create an outfit using whatever they got their greedy little hands on... wrappers, pillows, food.

This was actually one of the more interesting challenges so far and some of the designs that came out of it were truly original. Rami's winning outfit was playful and had great detail. Elisa got the boot this week after creating what looked like a dress that belonged in a bad school play, we also found out that her bizarre "flower child" behavior is the result of being run over by a Porsche in London. Always look left when visiting that overpriced city. Sweet P continued to have the facial expressions of someone who's just been beamed on earth for the very first time. Little Christian (he's actually only four inches tall and seems much bigger thanks to the magic of television) continued to strangely channel the energy of Nefertiti.

Is it just me or does he remind you of Kira in "Dark Crystal", too?

Jayne says: As much as I enjoyed this whimsical challenge, it was very difficult for me to watch as well. You see, after severely overindulging in holiday sweets of all kinds, I've recently decided to give up all candy, cookies, pastries, cakes, pies, donuts, brownies, ice cream, and chocolate for the entire month of January. This is quite a feat for me as I have an INSATIABLE sweet tooth. Two seconds after the designers walked into the Hershey store, I was drooling for the sweet, forbidden Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Barring the fact that I salivated at the thought of the tasty York Peppermint Patties, I loved this challenge. Although, if there is one guest judge I loathe and never wish to see again, it is Zac Posen. Pompous little orange man. He gives me the willies.

Note: We here at Horridfabulous couldn't quite get it together this week. Jayne and Marc were traveling and Jeff had a nasty cold. We'll be back next week. Promise. Kisses, queridos!