Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Project Runway 4 recap: Episode 5

Dramasexual: an urban gay male with no clear sense of reality. Ex: "He spilled his cranberry Grey Goose and started to cry. What a dramasexual"

(Note: Jayne is on hiatus this week, something about a business trip to Barbados)

Jayne says: I so wish I was in Barbados. I am, however, on a business Las Vegas...for a day.

Jeff Says:
Gay guys and drama - like the holidays and shopping. Its a tradition and you can't avoid it. Just eat it and smile.

Case in point:

1. Jack got a staph infection - sure a staph infection is dangerous but you cant just call your doc and pick up some meds? I mean, if your gonna swallow you should know where your local clinic is at all times. Did we really have to talk about it on cam and then cry and leave? Sad to see him go because he did show some ability, wish he was leaving for the normal reasons, like sucking or pissing off your team member so they throw you under the bus. Hope you are well Jack, shame it ends this way.

2. Ricky in gold high heels with the requisite tears every 5-7 minutes
3. Christian.
4. Steven who so quietly panics. The mascot of shy-gay-guy-dramasexuals.

Marc says: I totally missed Jack's staph infection in the first few minutes of the show as I was racing home after injecting myself with a dirty martini at the Hyatt. Nothing like "gay penicillin" after a hard day at work. Will have to check out how they handled the whole Jack health scare when the show replays this week (too poor for TiVo here...), I just hope it was handled with taste since I had a feeling they would work his health into the show. I do agree with Jeff, the male designers this season are proving to be quite dramatic. High heels, tears, a staph this a beauty pageant??

Jeff Says: OK then. What was this show about? OH RIGHT - Recently slimmed down women, one for each designer, dressed in their now ill fitting favorite fat outfit. GOAL for the designers: re-craft a sea of fabric into something chic, personal, and not fat.

Marc says: Project Runway this week gets down and dirty and deals with America's second-biggest blemish, its weight issue. Perhaps a future episode will deal with the country's biggest problem, its foreign policy. How about having the designers work on outfits for Condi Rice for her next oveseas trip. I'm sure little Christian could come up with fun, frilly and "fierce" stuff for Condi to wear at peace talks.

I actually loved this week's challenge, it's always an unusual thrill to see "real" people walk down the runway. The same thrill I suppose could be derived from having the models walk down the aisles at a supermarket and exposed to food items. Heidi (love the hair) put on a brave face and in altruistic fashion, reached out to the average woman in this episode. I almost cried. Kors, I swear, is now not only applying self-tanning lotion but also drinking it. I don't care if he's orange, I love him anyway.

The Horrid.

Jeff Says: Ricky. I am still cracking up that he was wearing gold heels and his client's jeans all tight and shit. I mean really, a little Latin guy with a hookers hat, Capri length jeans and GOLD HEELS. How Dolce and Gabanna, right? So this was a nice look - if you are on The Real Housewives from the OC. I would like to have seen something not so DONE. Did anyone see what I saw when she came down the runway? Was the crotch of the jeans a little stretched out???

Marc says: This outfit is perfect for turning tricks at the local Holiday Inn while the kids are at soccer practice. Just make sure you park the SUV one block away, we don't want to be spotted by other mommies.

Jeff Says: Jillian. Yeah nice dress, but whatever. You didn't follow the instructions of the challenge, but maybe you didn't care since you were immune this week.

Marc says: Didn't Fergie, Duchess of York, wear this on "The View" recently? It's actually a nice little number. Well done.

Jeff Says: Rami. Another solid performance, I actually thought this was one of the better designs. And he is pretty hot, right? I mean I think so. Last week a friend of mine from LA says he has met him and he is packin'. DING! HE SO SHOULD HAVE WON - what a sham. OK maybe not.

Marc says: This outfit spells out S-A-S-S-Y and Ms. Thing proved it by sashaying down the runway. No more Kispy Kreme for this little lady.

Jeff Says: Steven. Oh dowdy doody, what are you thinking? You have the opportunity to really show your stuff and we keep getting such conservative looks. And this week it was not for lack of opportunity - he had an incredibly detailed (and shiny) size 71 wedding gown - it could have been a suit and a set of luggage for god's sake. Instead he threw it all out and used only 4 strips as trim on a dress that looked like it was from The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Marc says:
Now available at a Dress Barn near you.

Jeff Says: SweetPea. We would like to formally apologize for saying you had the acting range of Miss Piggy last week. Miss Piggy called to complain and asked us to retract. I think a more fair comparison is Tootie from The Facts Of Life.

The Fabulous.

Jeff Says: Christian. OK, it was nice (damn that hurt).

Marc says: Little Christian has talent. This "commercial" look works. Finally a design that doesn't look like it fell off the back of a Cirque du Soleil truck.

I seriously think that the biggest risk on the show is not Jack's staph infection but Christian's hair. Did anyone notice how Sweat Pea almost impaled herself on Christian's hair this week?? I was shaking.......gimme more "gay penicillin" now!

Jeff Says: Kevin. Wow this guy is so creative and can sew too boot. The unconstructed blazer-tent to bustier jacket was shear genius. His client was glowing and clearly loved it. I think I am rooting for him to the final 3 (with Rami of course)

Marc says: I hate leggings. There....I said it, I feel better. They work at the ballet, they work in the privacy of your own home, but they don't work in any other scenario. Let's start a movement to ban them.

Jayne says: I am currently wearing a pair of heather gray leggings with a black A-line dress. Until I read Marc's comments, I thought I looked pretty damn cute today. Apparently not. Thank goodness I can just run over the Shops at Ceasar's Palace and pick up something that might pass as nylons...

Should have won:

Jeff Says: Christina, I mean Christian. God, this sucks.

Marc says: I agree. Fierce Christian is the little diva that could.

Should have gotten the boot:

Jeff Says: Steven - no vision, no time management, worse than what Chris March sent down the runway. Sorry sugar, I'm sure you're very nice but nice don't cut it in the big city (unless we are talking about being nice to Michael Kors).

Marc says: Chris needs to go, again. Horrible outfit that had Kors referencing to French prostitutes (honey, you're not straight) and throwing up down Heidi's back when no one was looking. Thank god the only thing that came out of his stomach was Estee Lauder self tanner.


Tbone said...

I'm not buying Jayne's lame excuse this week. She can't watch PR in Vegas?

Jeff said...

I KNOW! She's being a slacker.

Wintermute said...

Thanks for all the love guys. =P

I happened to be on a plane when the show was airing and last time I checked, Southworst doesn't offer all the cool Direct TV channels like Jet Blue does :(

Like Marc, I am also too poor for TiVo.

I'll catch it this weekend...I promise. I hear they brought my fave roundboy of love back this week, so I'm super excited to check it out!