Project Runway 4 Recap: Episode 3

Marc says: Week three had the designers feverishly making an outfit for Today show correspondent and former New York Giants football star Tiki Barber for $150. Tiki showed his rebellious and gay friendly side by indicating to the group that he wasn't afraid of wearing pastels and pink. A deeply courageous statement for an NFL star. Seems like the designers this week were more overwhelmed by this challenge than a FEMA crew in a Gulf of Mexico hurricane. There was no real glam to any of this week's outfits and the whole effect was pure vanilla.

Jayne says: I SO love the fact that the only person in the bunch who knew who Tiki Barber is was the straight guy. Hell, *I* even know who Tiki Barber is. I also know that he has an identical twin brother. It would have been fun to see the designers get a little more time and a little more money to create two looks for the twins. THAT, my friends, would have been a challenge!! Unfortunately, one menswear outfit seemed to be challenge enough. And rightly so.

Jeff Says: Mmmmmm. Tiki Barber. And there is a TWIN? Barber sandwich anyone?

Marc says: A very "icy" Ginny Barber, wife of clothes-hungry Tiki, made an inspection of the outfits being worked on, probably to make sure that her hubby wouldn't end up in an off-the-shoulder gown. Ginny chose to make her Project Runway debut in a little number that made her look like a sample girl in the deli section of a Safeway supermarket.

Speaking of deli cuts, hot male models this week had most of the designers salivating hard (expect for a few hetero males in the bunch). Elisa was the only one who didn't insist on undressing her model like a Ken doll on Christmas morning, the Project Runway new age spitter actually has the heart of an Amish debutante. Gross.

Jayne says: Mmm, mmm, mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmm. That is all. (Oh, and...more men please. Kthanx!)

Jeff says: Tiki and Ginny? Where are these people from - a 60's Rat Pack cocktail party in Palm Springs? Ginny even looked the part, she was all kinds of FABU, just needed bigger hair or jewels. I cant stop laughing at their names here - maybe their kids are Dice and Maraschino.

Standouts of the week...

Marc says: I love this suit, simple and elegant. Perhaps not sassy enough for Tiki or butch enough for Madame Ginni, but overall, a well constructed outfit and a solid effort by Chris, who hopefully is over the fact Sarah Jessica Parker snubbed him last week. Hang in there Chrissy.

Jayne says: Man, that's a lot of black. Tiki likes colors. Tiki likes textures. And Chris gave him black. Lots of very well constructed black. (My god, his model!!! DEEE-LISH! )

Jeff Says: Helmut Lang

Marc says: Hmmmmm....Cary Grant in "To Catch a Thief"? Tiki would only wear this if he were reporting from a croquet match in Newport, or covering the opening ceremonies of the Gay Games.

Jayne says: So structured! So fabulously tailored! So...so...MILITARY! Right up until you get to the neckerchief. That one detail ruined all my fantasies of Steven's model instructing me to drop and give him twenty. Loved the amount of cuff showing at the bottom of the sleeves, though. Strong showing!

Jeff Says: Hollywood Playboy from 1970 driving a Mercedes Benz 280SL

And now for the vomit inducers of the week:

Marc says: Sweet P, what on earth are you doing in this competition if you can't even construct a basic shirt, actually what on earth are you doing in this industry if there is nothing even remotely fashionable about you.......wow that was nasty of me, oops. I don't see the potential. Carmen should have stayed.

Jayne says: Oh honey, good lord, NO! What Marc said. Werd.

Jeff says: Barf, hurl, blow groceries, de-lunch, nicole richie, ralph, the 3 finger diet..

Marc says: I totally disagree with this. Too safe, too Macy's. What I imagine as being chic in Des Moines.

Jayne says: Uh yeah, werd to Marc again. I thought this was too strange and out there...and not in the funky Elisa way that I'm growing to love, either!

Jeff says: I'm sorry, this was the uniform of the Castro gay-fessional in 2003. I don't even think Ben Sherman does this style anymore.

Should have won:

Marc Says: Chris's design was a little safe but was the only one that didn't stand out as being too trendy or looking like a costume relic from Les Miserables.

Jayne says: I liked Kevin's design. Homeboy made a shirt, pants, a tie, a vest AND a frikkin' pocket square!

Jeff says: KIT! Loved the cardi-blazer made of fleece. It was great and totally TV ready. Tiki would looked smokin' hot in it.

Should have gotten the boot:

Marc says: Dear Sweet P should have found herself forced into a cab by Tim this week. Carmen did sin heavily by faking a shirt under that jacket with that piece of fabric, but haven't we all done that at one point in our lives? And I swear Carmen made an effort this week to control her hair, the Bravo "good taste" censors must have intervened.

Jayne says: I'm not proud of it, but I have indeed wrapped my chestal region in a strip of fabric. It was for a dance number to "Tusk" by Fleetwood Mac in my 9th grade recital, and even then, it almost didn't work. Here's what I think: Between Ricky and his uncontrollable tear ducts, Sweet P's...umm, what the hell WAS that anyways?, and Carmen's rendition of my "Tusk" costume, the trifecta of crap was complete. I think it should have been a triple auf'ing, for no one look was better than the other. And for god's sake, would someone PLEASE get Lady Tearbox Ricky a Kleenex?!

Jeff says: Carmen, as much as I hate to say it. She was sooooo much fun to look at, great clothes, hair, accessories. Sweet P was a train wreck but at least her outfit didnt look like it came with a magic carpet.

Marc says: And finally.....this week I did find myself wanting to slap Christian. Forgive me.

Project Runway 4 Recap: Episode 2

Jeff Says: Can I tell you all how good it is to be back in the throws of another season of Project Runway? In San Francisco, watching it is part of the requirement to get city citizenship:

"Question 1: Are you a Democrat, Independent, or crazy? Select Democrat"
"Question 2: Do you watch Project Runway? Select Yes or No"
"Question 3: Do you own any white dress shoes? Select Yes or No"

Marc Says: Apologies to J&J for being MIA for 48 hours, as well to our dear public (I know you are out there...love me). I had a massive chunk of turkey breast stuck in my throat and had to be rushed to a William Sonoma store to have the dry bird flesh pulled out with a pair of 100 dollar kitchen tongs. Bless the sales lady who saved my life and then gave me hot chocolate once a pulse was detected. Thank god it didn't happen on Black Friday, that's all I'm saying......

Jeff Says: This week my favorite TV actress, Sarah Jessica Parker, was the guest host and was on a mission to get a free design for her new clothing line "Bitten". She is so great and I love that she is so humble. You really got the sense that she just came on the to make friends (on her way to her next million).

Marc says: How can anyone not love SJP? America's No. 1 fashion icon. The woman who grew up on food stamps and now has her own perfume, sent a shockwave through the room when she surprised the designers. I have only seen a reaction of that magnitude twice in my life, once in Lourdes when a group of Filipino tourists spotted the Virgin Mary and the other was on a flight to Palm Springs when a very famous gay porn star sat in economy. SJP is sincere and truly does want to dress the "American" woman for less than the cost of a take-out lunch at Whole Foods. In reality, her clothes are like the polyfiber darlings at H&M, they look great on the rack and away from an open flame, but once wrapped around normal bodies they look like cheap halloween costumes.

Challenge: Design a garment for everywoman.

Catch: 15 dollar limit on materials.

Jeff Says: Does every woman really want to dress like Sarah Jessica? SURE. Do they? UH, no they really don't. I cant imagine Jessica would be caught selling a sweater set or matching short-sleeve shirt and capris.

Rami: No no no no no no - this looks like a maternity outfit. The hair makes it look like a maternity outfit for an alien. I really was impressed with his vision and execution last week and this was just so uninspired. Maybe he is one of those guys that as the conversation runs on you realize that there really isn't as much there as you initially thought. Again, I was really disappointed. Mr. Kors sure lit up when Rami gave him a little grin though - work it Mr.

Jayne says: Ok, in all fairness to this week's designs and designers, I haven't yet seen this episode. The lame hotel (Homewood Suites, a Hilton establishment, if you please) didn't have Bravo. But just based on the pic here of Rami's outfit, the top looks more like one of those smocks that hair colorists give you to cover up your real clothes before slathering multi-faceted goo on your locks. I am, however, willing to reserve my judgments until I see the episode...

Jeff Says: I think I am warming up to the decision to cast Christian for season 4 as he is really full of himself. Fixin' his parrot hairdo on camera. Using the words "fierce" and "great" about his own design. Calling the other contestants things like "lame" and "losers".

Even better... when this nasty ass American Apparel knock-off dress and doesn't-go-with-jacket from his Dynasty design book took him one step away from getting auf'ed. Best moment in the season so far 'cause he just looked like he was gonna CRY.

Elisa: Girl, you're a freak. Please stop using the word IMBUE or I'm gonna poke out my ear drums. Please don't stop listening to your peers and Tim Gunn. Although your original sketch looked nothing like the final design IT WAS GORGEOUS. Did I say gorgeous? 'Cause it was - you know - GORGEOUS. Great colors and mix of textures. Hot length. Great use of skin and lines without being body conscious. Sweet a-line sleeves gathered at the bottom. Just amazing.

I called Elisa's outfit gorgeous right?

Jayne says: Again, haven't seen the episode, but I hope that this felt...thing?...is not as stiff-looking coming down the runway as it is in that pic. And, for god's sake, is that a (*gulp*) poncho? A fucking PONCHO?!? Honey, NO! Like I said, I'm willing to try to suppress the brain aneurysm until I see it in motion, but the Manolo taught me well, kids...friends don't let friends do ponchos.

Jeff Says: Side Note: here but did you catch the commercial at the 30 minute mark? It was for L'oreal Preference with Heather Locklear. How fucking old is she anyway? SHE LOOKS HOT.

Jayne says: I secretly want to be Heather Locklear. Bitch just refuses to age! Love her!

Jeff Says:

Should Have Won.

My vote goes for Elisa. Sure, the actual winner Victorya had another very sweet outfit. Cute detail and nice mix of textures, but I loved Elisa's look so much more..

Should Have Gotten The Boot.
As much as I dislike Christian on all fronts I do agree with the judges final decision for cut Marion. Michael Kors described his outfit best: "Costumey", "Looked like something Pocahontas would wear" , " It grew 6 inches while on the runway". Too bad, I liked his personal style and thought it would translate to some nice work.

Project Runway 4 Recap: Episode One

Jayne says: Well, well, well. Here we are again. Jayne and Jeff, plus our new friend Marc. First off, I'd like to welcome you all to the new home of our little recaps. And we love Marc. You all will, too. YAY!

Ok, let's get right down to it. In the first challenge of Season Four, our designers were presented with a three tents full of gorg-e-ous fabrics and told they could use unlimited amounts of whatever they chose. Wait...a challenge with no budget?! What?! Part of the fun of past Episode Ones has been watching the designers flounder and flail around to make a garment out of candy, corn husks, and shower curtains. Not this time, though. Jeff said it best: If the designers can't shine when they are given complete and total creative freedom with no budget, they shouldn't be in the competition at all. Agreed, dear. The stage was set to separate the real talent from the riff-raff. And boy, there was a lot of riff-raff.

Marc says: I'm not exactly a bitch, I prefer calling it a personality with a strong edge....what I do hope to bring to this Blog is the perspective of a hardcore shopper and someone who gets high in stores from the smell of fresh merchandise. In general I felt the designs last night lacked a real sparkle despite the fact they were given great fabric. Some of the dresses made the models look like they had been pulled from a plane crash. This new crew of couture wannabes will need to focus more on the competition in the next few weeks and slack off on maintaining "Blade Runner" hairstyles and speaking to the camera like they're auditioning for "Days of Our Lives."

Jeff Says: I would also like to welcome Marc, he is a good friend and and the master of wit. I should add that it also helps we both LOVE the movie Towering Inferno ..

Did anyone notice how all of the ladies on the show looked like slight variations of the same woman? Only Kara Saun - whoops - I mean CARMEN had a real sense of individuality...so hot...

Jayne Says: Dear Chris March, I WANT THIS DRESS!! Call me! I can even e-mail you my measurements! Divine, this was. (Note to the reader: please watch the re-runs of this show to see this dress in motion. It's heavenly and this picture does not do it justice!)

Marc says: I agree, beautiful design. Very simple and elegant compared to what others launched on the runway last night.

Jeff Says: We were all in agreement here. I called it Oscar De La Renta circa 1979, the tie on the back of the neck was FABULOUS... and the color.... to die...

Jayne Says: Aaaaannnnd now for the crap:

I know the judges oogled and drooled over this one, but honestly, all I see is a bad Burberry knock-off print with mangy fur glued down the front. I'm wishy-washy about Christian, but I HATE this outfit (and his hair! UGH!). I just didn't get it. Plus, if you have to constantly tell people how good you are, chances are that you're just not, mmmmkay?

Marc says: I was frightened by Christian's hair as well, he looked like a crow with morning hair. The dress looks like something you would wear to a "Dynasty" drag party. I think the judges probably have a better view of the design and the stitching than we do and perhaps see potential in Christian. What I see is a dress from the "ready-to-wear office collection" at Wal-Mart.

Jeff Says: Christian = UGH! You ever see the movie "Mean Girls" where the queen of the plastics gets hits by a bus? I was imaging that every time this little boy got screen time. Maybe his design was ok but I thought it looked kinda bad. The concept was there and that is what I think the judges were grabbing onto.

SHOU:D HAVE WON:
Jayne Says: Chris March. Rami's dress? Although stunning, too J. Lo.
Marc says: I agree. Loved this dress, super elegant. It flowed perfectly and actually would even work on anyone without an eating disorder.
Jeff Says: Chris March should have won - so hot (I have my trademark goosebumps!). Rami was hot proper, but his dress looked like some thing from Star Trek or maybe even Towering Inferno. Did you hear the way Rami said Silk Georgette? SWOON!
Maybe if I were Micael Kors I could vote for him ONLY if he agreed to come to my dressing room after taping...

SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE BOOT:

Jayne Says: Simone. The judges actually got this one right. For once.

Marc says: Simone may be better suited for "Top Chef" based on the stitching and look of her little disaster. Bonne chance cheri.

Jeff Says: Simone. I used to sit next to a woman like her at work. She was nice but always came unraveled under pressure. Seems like this is what happened here - sorry girl.

At any rate, its too early to really tell who's got it and who's faking it. Catch us all back here next week. This promises to be another great season of our favorite show and we're all along for the ride!

Welcome!

Jeff says, "Coach is the new Wet Seal". I couldn't agree more.

Catch us back here soon for plenty of Project Runway 4 goodness!

Kisses, kittens! =)